Memories From the Past
by flame gazer
Summary: [HIATUS] When Lily first meets Sesshomaru, he wasn’t cold and he didn’t hide what he felt, what he thought, or what he was afraid of. Did his fears come true? Did he finally become what he was afraid of? Is a ten year old boy more open then the 24 year ol
1. Prologue

Rin, now sixteen, is finally seeing her adoptive father, Sesshomaru, after many years of him not being there. Ever at her side is Lily, her bodyguard and best friend. Can Rin rekindle the flame between these former lovers, or will their past forever block their way.

Prologue: The Present

"Cess, come on! We're gonna be late!"

"No, not until you do it!"

"Are you freaking kidding me?"

"Do it or I'm not coming down!"

"Fine!" lily yelled back, knowing full well that it was useless to try and get her down. "Start it then."

"YAY!" she heard coming from the second story of the mansion.

"What do we do?"

"When there's no turning back?" she replied not knowing how long this was gonna take

"Stay steady on a course,"

"And never look back."

"What do we do?"

"When the wolf doesn't cry?"

"Hear it in our dreams,"

"Where its spirit never dies."

"What do we do," it was at the top of the stairs

"When the moon doesn't shine?"

"We let the rain show our sorrow," foot of the stairs

"And shed our tears on the needles of the pines. Now lets go or your dad's gonna be pissed!"

"Hey Lils?"

"Yeah Cess?"

"Do you think he'll like me?"

"Oh, oh sweetie," Lily said, taking the 16 year old into her arms, "your dad loves you, you know that.

Don't you?" She heard a small sob com from the young girl. "Shush, shush, it's alright sweetie your big sis is gonna take care of you okay. Now come on."

Lily opened her umbrella and escorted the teen to the car. When she was in, Lily walked the length of the limo, preparing herself to see him again. She put the key in the ignition, turned it, and listened to it roar to life.

"Hey Rin, ya ready?" she asked her eyes in the rearview mirror. Rin gave a small nod, her eyes downcast.

"If you promise to smile, we'll do class tomorrow." Rin's face instantly grew brighter.

"Then can we go to the batting cages?"

"Yes, then we can go to the batting cages," Lily replied, trying to sound exasperated but couldn't hide the grin on her lips.

"Sound like a plan?"

"Yes," Rin answered. Relief echoing in her voice just from knowing that as long as Lily was there, she would be safe. As long as Lily was there, not everything will change.

They waited at the private air strip for Lord Sesshomaru's plane. Lily was sitting in back with Rin, hating the severely tailored suit she was wearing. She dug into her pockets and found the little velvety case she was looking for.

"Hey Rin?"

"Yeah?"

"Happy Birthday," she said as she handed Rin the box. Rin opened it. She found a silver necklace with a butterfly pendent. The wings were black marble with ivory streaks.

"Flip it over" Lily whispered. Rin flipped it and read the inscription:

TO MY LITTLE SIS

HAPPY SIXTEENTH

WACKY BAT

Rin had tears rolling down her cheeks, but she couldn't help but laugh at her childhood name.

"But that's not fair"

"What's not fair?" Lily asked curiosity and some suspicion written of her face.

"I wanted to give you your present first," and with that Rin pulled out a small velvety case. Lily laughed. It was a silver necklace with a butterfly pendent. Lily gave Rin a big hug and said, "We really are twins!"

"Well…?"

"Well….what?"

"Flip it over."

Lily flipped over the pendent and read the inscription:

TO MY BIG SIS

HAPPY TWENTY THIRD

INKY WINKY

Rin saw a single tear go down Lily's cheek and smiled. Rin put her head on Lily's shoulder and Lily put her head on Rin's.

"Will things be okay?"

"I don't know," Lily said, answering honestly, "but I will always take care of you." Rin relaxed because she knew that no matter what, Lily would be there to make sure she was safe, even if it cost Lily her life.

They sat like that in companionable silence until the soothing patter of rain was rudely overpowered by another sound. The sound of jet engines. Both straitened out their clothes, both wiped their eyes and both proudly displayed their necklaces.

Lily walked under her umbrella to where the steps of the private jet were. Lily saw him descend the steps and start walking towards the limo. Lily walked right next to him never faltering in a single step.

"Lord Sesshomaru," it was a statement, not a question. His only reply was a small nod of his head.

'So, that's how it'll be' she thought to herself. The normally cheery dark blue color of her eyes turned to a mixture of pale blue and brown, like icy mud. That moment, he no longer held a piece in her heart.

By the time they reached the limo, Lily was thoroughly soaked because she held her umbrella for Lord Sesshomaru, not for herself, as was to be expected. She opened the door and looked at Rin as he entered the limousine. She gave a small shake of her head and Rin gave her a small nod to show she understood.

'Just like your dad,' she thought.

'This is gonna be a long night' she heard another part of her mind answer in return. She looked in the rearview mirror and thought 'Yes, yes it is.' She saw Rin slowly nod in answer.

She pulled up in front of the restaurant and escorted Lord Sesshomaru and Rin to the door. After giving Rin a small smile of encouragement she drove to the parking garage across the street.

She grabbed the duffel in the passenger seat and ran to the back of the limo to change. After changing she shoved her uniform in to the duffel and handed them to the driver in the jeep next to her.

"Got it on?" she asked him.

"Yes ma'am"

"Good, stay on this frequency. You'll know if you're needed."

Lily ran to the front of the restaurant. She closed her umbrella and pulled down the hood of her hoodie. She walked into the door with a smile.

"Hey Alonzo!" she yelled to the seating host when she was letting her hair down from its tight bun Rin put it in earlier and tucked a lily behind her ear.

"Madam Lily! I didn't know that you were coming! If I did I would have made arrangements and…"

"Oh, it's quite alright Alonzo, I was just wondering if I could have a table."

"One by her?"

"Yes, one by her."

Lord Sesshomaru regarded his daughter with curiosity. He didn't know what to talk about with her, so he settled for observing her for the time being.

He loved how she looked in the black halter gown he sent for her to wear. And how she did her usually strait hair raven hair and made it into a dark mass of tight curls. And how the one lily behind her ear balanced out all of the black she was wearing.

"May I be excused?" she asked, looking for a break from his cold gaze. He gave her a swift nod and she got up and walked to the ladies room.

He saw a mass of thick black curls only moments after Rin had round the corner and gone out of his eye sight. 'She's back rather quick,' he thought to himself, 'but why did she change, and what the hell happened to her hair?' when he was that she was wearing jeans and a black hoodie under a jean jacket with green converse. Her hair was soaked and instead f walking to their table she walked to the table to his immediate left.

The smell of lilies hitting his nose made him think of someone he lost long ago…

flashback

"What do you want Lord Sesshomaru?" she asked her mask in place, never showing emotions, never showing that she cared.

"You know what I want," he whispered coyly in her ear. She shot him an evil look and he threw his hands up as a sign of surrender.

"Why did you want me to meet you here?" she asked, letting the mask fall and letting her emotions find their way into her voice and on to her face.

"To tell you something." For once, she sensed nervousness in his voice.

"What is it Sessho, what's going on, are you alright?" worry shone in her every move, every expression. She was standing so close to him that he could feel the heat radiating off of her body, and he loved it.

"Lily, I came to say that I love you."

"Oh Sessho, I lo-"

Then movement from the other side of the table brought him out of his thoughts. He looked at where the movement was coming from and saw Rin sitting there; totally oblivious to what has been running through his head.

'Took you long enough.' Lily felt the words enter her thoughts and she looked over at Rin and gave her a small apologetic shrug and replied, 'yeah, sorry 'bout that'.

Rin felt the words and inwardly rolled her eyes. She then returned her attention back to the matter at hand, her father.

'What do I do? This silence is driving me freaking crazy!' she silently asked Lily.

'Ask about his business that he has considered 'oh so fucking important' all these years and if he treats you just like everyone else, then give his sorry ass a reality check and tell him that you're his daughter, not one of his employees.' Rin felt the iciness of Lily's thought and was glad that it was not directed towards her.

"So, father, how is business fairing?"

Sesshomaru looked at her, just looked at her.

Rin saw the hurt in his eyes and felt bad about her unattached use of the word father instead of the word daddy which she used to say with such warmth, but she figured that he would have to earn her back.

"Rin," he began, trying to open her heart back up towards him, just like so long ago with Her…

"I know that w…"

The cold ringing of a shot being fired brought all his attention to what had to be done. And that was protecting Rin.

The cold ringing of a gun shot being fired in this restaurant made Lily mad. The fact that she knew that it was meant to harm either Rin or Sesshomaru made her furious.

Her mask was back in place, the one that she hadn't used in years. Never showing emotions, never showing what was going though her head. 'Just like the night I said goodbye' she thought ironically to herself.

She reached behind her and stuck her hands in the back of her hoodie. Her hands calmly grabbing the cool pieces of metal as she drew her guns from their holster.

Hope ya like.

Please review!

tiff


	2. Without the Mask

Hi everybody! I'm sorry that I haven't updated sooner, but ive had a bunch on my plate lately, especially with school starting in a few weeks. I have worked really hard on this story, so.. plz review!

Love

tiff

---------------------------------------------

Before the Mask

Sesshomaru looked around at his surroundings, not quite knowing what to expect. He walked to the office, his body guard in tow, of his new private school in Tokyo. He hated having to go to new schools every few months and living in different apartments. He didn't like having a stepmother either, even though she and 'that son of hers' has been there for a while.

He could still remember the night when Inuyasha, his half brother, was born. He didn't go to the hospital, he didn't want to. He was fine with it being just his father and himself, but when Inuyasha's mother came in to the picture he considered her an outsider. And still does.

He walked into the office and saw a girl around his age sitting at a desk sifting through some paper work that sat in front of her. He was looking around nervously, not knowing if he should wait or try to get her attention.

She looked up gave in a warm smile. He smiled back, all of his nervousness fading away. She stood up and stuck her hand out. He was a little surprised by this but he shook her hand. He liked her firm grip and thought to himself 'she's pretty', then he started to blush.

(Things that are spoken by characters are in Japanese)

"My mane is Lilliana," she told him in Perfect Japanese. He gave her a look that held some confusion and some embarrassment.

She furrowed her eyebrows, just slightly and tilted her head. He blushed because of her she was looking at him.

"What's wrong? Oh yeah, I'm sorry about that. I keep forgetting that most natives can't say my name because of the whole 'no L in the Japanese language' deal. So you can just call me Kazacoon."

He smiled and said, "My name is..."

Sesshomaru Tokahashi." His eyes got big.

"How did, how..?"

"Oh," she said with a giggle, "I was expecting you."

She put the papers she was reading into a portfolio and put them in a beat up looking messenger bag that just seemed to be perfect for her.

She walked around the desk and after giving his bodyguard a bow (which surprised him because most people don't acknowledge him) she walked with Sesshomaru back out the door and into the deserted halls of the campus.

"I'm nine by the way and because of the age difference between us and our fellow classmates I took the liberty of arranging our classes together or near each other." She looked at him, received his nod of approval then continued, "If you need anything just and don't worry about being a ten year old junior, they may have the height and the age, but we have something else."

"What's that?" he asked, needing encouragement.

"Intensive martial arts training, far higher intelligence and innocent faces from not going through puberty yet."

"How did..?"

"I told you I was expecting you and to make things easier on the both of us, I read your likes, dislikes, disciplinary record, hobbies, everything that I need to know to help me help you. Now If you will excuse me this is your class, see you at the bell." With that, and a bow to each Sesshomaru and his bodyguard, she walked into a classroom.

"Well, she knows you better than you know yourself."

"Hey! Shut up Shin!" he said when he playfully punched his bodyguard. He gave the door she went through one last look before walking through a door directly across the hall.

The bell rang and he suddenly realized how glad he was that he came just in time for he last twenty minutes of third period. Now it was time for lunch. Now it was time to see her again.

When he finally got out of his seat he was the last student in the class. He looked towards the door and saw her leaning against the doorframe. He loved the black baggy boy cargo pants on her and how she just wore a plain dark grey tee-shirt. Her thick, tightly curled ebony hair reached the small of her back. He was blushing by the time he reached her.

"So, how's it feel to be the only ten year old on campus?" she asked after she had bowed to Shin.

"How's it feel to **still ** be the youngest person on campus?" he countered. And instead of getting mad and stomping away like most girls his age, she just started to laugh. "Maybe with her around,' he thought, 'it won't be so bad.'

"Well," she said when they were finally out of the building and in the sunlight, "we could either go to the cafeteria, or we could head to the dorms, get you settled, and I could cook us three some lunch."

"You can cook?" Sesshomaru asked, awe on his face.

"Excuse me, but miss, I usually don't do this type of thing." Shin stated

"Ok," she said, speaking to Sesshomaru, "first of all I am actually a very good cook." She turned to Shin, "and secondly as long as you are on this campus just because you're a bodyguard doesn't mean you don't need to eat, and since I'm gonna be cooking its no trouble just to make a bigger pot, Ya got me?" she asked authority and attitude in her voice at the same time. Most people didn't dare talk to Shin that way, but she did and showed no sign of intimidation from his stature or age. Shin liked her.

"Well, what do you think?" she asked them when they entered the dorm room.

"It's big." Was a Sesshomaru could say.

"Yes, there are three bedrooms, two bath, kitchen, dining room, living room, and entertainment room."

"Why are their three bedrooms?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"Why for you, Shin, and your room mate of course."

"And who's my room mate?"

"I'll give you three guesses, but I have a feeling that you'll only need one." She said with a giggle.

"Why? I mean why am I with you and you're not in the girls dormitories?"

She was laughing and he didn't understand why. "Didn't you notice?"

"Notice what?"

"Notice something about the other girls in your class?"

"No." he didn't even know what his teacher looked like, he was to busy thinking about her. "What about them?"

"Sesshomaru, there weren't any. I'm the only female student in the school." And both Shin and Kazacoon busted out laughing.

Kazacoon looked at Sesshomaru, saw his angry and embarrassed face, and laughed even more. Which wasn't helping. She walked over to him and through an arm over his shoulder like a friend. No one has ever done that before. "s'ok, we still love ya," she said, still laughing. She gave him a small hug then walked to the kitchen.

He wasn't happy when she walked to the kitchen. Not because she gave him a hug, but that she broke it instead.

He looked at the plate in front of him. He had never had such good food in his life, and that's saying a lot.

"Where did you learn to cook like that?" he asked, his mouth full, already scooping more food onto his plate.

"Yea," Shin started, "where? You cook better than anyone!"

Kazacoon smiled, a small blush touched her cheeks. He noticed. "Well, actually, I taught myself." Both guys stopped chewing and just stared at her. She blushed even deeper and shifted uncomfortably in her chair under their gaze.

"What?" she asked, wanting them to stop looking at her like that. She stood up and took her plates over to the kitchen where she put them in the sink to be washed later.

School was finally over for the day. Kazacoon and Sesshomaru walked back to the dorm from their history class. She went to her room and did her work while Sesshomaru went into his room and did his. She fell asleep while reading Midnight at the Well of Souls by Jack L. Chalker. When she woke up it was around 9: 30 at night and since she wasn't tired she walked into the kitchen to wash the dishes from lunch.

After she had washed the dishes, Kazacoon went to her room, grabbed a black hoodie and took of towards the door.

"Hey! Where ya goin?" Sesshomaru looked up from the coach where he and Shin were watching T.V.

"Just out for a walk. Ya wanna come?"

"Sure, um…," he turned around and gave Shin a pleading look. Shin just rolled his eyes and waved him off with his hand. Sesshomaru turned towards the door with a big smile on his face, grabbed his black hoodie from the coat hanger, and together they walked out into the hall on their way to the park across the street.

"Where did your name come from?" he asked to break the silence.

"My mother gave me that name before she died."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"Nobody does." He looked at her curiously and she gave him a small smile. "Besides, I didn't know her. She died a couple of days after I was born."

"My mom too," he smiled at her. She stopped walking and as soon as he did, she gave him a big hug. He was shocked at first but he hugged her back, holding her tight.

She suddenly pulled back. His arms felt empty without her in them. "I'm so sorry, I should have never done that. I…"

She was silenced with a small kiss on her lips. She saw the blush on his cheeks, and then her whole face turned pink when she thought about what he had just done.

He held his hand out to her and she took it. They stayed like that until they returned to their dorm a while later where he left her at her bedroom door with a hug and a whispered message in her ear.

She looked at the clock on her desk. The soft glow of its digital numbers gave a ghastly glow to her room. It was 1:20 in the morning and she wasn't supposed to meet him for forty more minutes. She walked to the window and looked out at the park. She gave a soft sigh and just decided to go out even though she'll be there for a while. She grabbed a blanket off of her bed and walked out onto the fire escape with only a the gray tee-shirt she was wearing earlier and thin silk pale blue p.j. bottoms that had stars and crescent moons on it.

She saw a dark figure sitting on the fire escape, its feet over the edge.

"Sesshomaru?" she quietly called, not wanting to wake Shin up. She sat down next to him and quietly called him again. "Sesshomaru?" He still didn't look at her. A small grin appeared on her face when she decided on her course of action. She gently leaned close and gave him a soft kiss on his cheek. When she pulled away from him, she saw that his eyes were huge and she couldn't help but give a giggle. He just looked at her and smiled.

"You're early," he simply stated.

"Well, then that makes two of us huh?" she said with a shy smile, her cheeks still a little pink from what she had just done.

He put his hand out, and she placed hers in his, lacing their fingers. She smiled, he blushed. "I'm scared, Kazacoon. I really am scared."

"Of what?" she asked, not knowing what he could be scared of.

"Of being alone. Of my father not loving me anymore. Of turning cold hearted so that I know no love."

"Oh good, I thought that it was something serious." Sesshomaru looked at her, hurt in his eyes. He started to stand up. She gave him a pleading look not to go away. His face hardened and appeared cold, yet from her, even though they have only known each other for one day, he could not hide the emotions in his eyes.

"Wait."

"Why?"

"What I meant was that as long as you and me are together, nothing can hurt us. As long as we are always best friends we'll always love each other. Right?"

"Right." He said as he sat down by her. She leaned her head onto his shoulders and held his hand. He leaned his head onto hers and prayed that she was right. To his ten year old mind he wanted to believe her, believe that everything was going to be alright, but he still couldn't get rid of the feeling in the pit of his stomach that told him otherwise.

PLZ PLZ PLZ REVIEW!

And I should have the new chapter up of my FMA fanfic 'the key' up tonight!

Love

tiff


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